I wake up a lot of mornings these days with my heart pounding and my head racing with a million little thoughts. I wish I could say they weren't about Joe and I, but they are. I had a good day on Thursday followed by a not so good day on Friday. Unfortunately, I am thinking that this up and down thing is going to stick around for a while. The mornings are okay and so are the evenings, but oddly, the middle of the afternoon like around 1-4:30, I really start to miss him and it takes all my strength not to call him (although I frequently break down).
It's been 2 months now and although he's explained to me why he no longer wants to be together, I still can't understand how someone could walk away from something that seemed so real to me.
This morning's devotional was about patience. It talked about how important it is to be patient, how so much of life is a waiting period and that it is important to be able to do this without being miserable and to also have a good attitude while we are waiting.
I am trying so hard to remember this.
"A patient man is a powerful man. He can remain calm in the storm. He has control over his mouth. His thoughts remain loving in times when people's behavior become challenging."
I am praying that I might learn to become a patient person.