Monday, February 11, 2008

thinking about love...

" desiring we are in some ways loving ourselves, trying to find ourselves. What I discovered is that this idea -- that self awareness comes into being when we see ourselves reflected in another person's eyes--is a fundamental idea in much of Western philosophy. We are born, in a sense, in a process that involves other people's awareness of us."

--Patricia Stacey, "The Professor of Desire"

i was reading Oprah magazine (a christmas gift subscription from my mom) while biking this afternoon (on a stationery bike, don't worry :)) and came across this quote in an article about desire.

since i moved home from japan to give a relationship a chance with a wonderful person, i often think about what it is that makes me love him so much. i'm not sure how I feel yet about feeling how I do but I do think that a large part of what makes me love him so much is that i feel completely uninhibited to be the person I am now and am trying to evolve into being when I am with him. I feel completely unjudged and accepted and loved for all of my wacky idoiosyncratic imperfections. In a world where we are so frequently masquerading around in various masks, it is so refreshing and liberating to be able to share a genuine piece of myself with someone--both the good, the bad and the ugly (all the stuff I am working every day to improve).

as a traveler for the past couple of years i became very comfortable with being on my own and in fact relished so much in the complete independence of my solitary existence that i was very wary of returning to the states to be in a committed relationship. however, in my return i have discovered that while i believed i was full while i was out galavanting around the globe, i have been pleasantly surprised to find an even fuller feeling in sharing my life with someone with whom complete sharing is so easy.

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