trail mix

joe bought a bunch of fixins for home made trail mix for me for valentine's day because he knows how much I love trail mix and that I have been wanting to make some...so here is a picture of our first trail mix creation.

when melissa wolfe was out visiting in December she took me to one of her favorite grocery stores in berkeley called the Berkeley Bowl. They have tons of bins of bulk food and for our next batch of homemade trail mix we're going to head up there for ingredients.

here is a link to the berkeley bowl website...

http://www.berkeleybowl.com/pages/main.html

thinking about love...

"...in desiring we are in some ways loving ourselves, trying to find ourselves. What I discovered is that this idea -- that self awareness comes into being when we see ourselves reflected in another person's eyes--is a fundamental idea in much of Western philosophy. We are born, in a sense, in a process that involves other people's awareness of us."

--Patricia Stacey, "The Professor of Desire"

i was reading Oprah magazine (a christmas gift subscription from my mom) while biking this afternoon (on a stationery bike, don't worry :)) and came across this quote in an article about desire.

since i moved home from japan to give a relationship a chance with a wonderful person, i often think about what it is that makes me love him so much. i'm not sure how I feel yet about feeling how I do but I do think that a large part of what makes me love him so much is that i feel completely uninhibited to be the person I am now and am trying to evolve into being when I am with him. I feel completely unjudged and accepted and loved for all of my wacky idoiosyncratic imperfections. In a world where we are so frequently masquerading around in various masks, it is so refreshing and liberating to be able to share a genuine piece of myself with someone--both the good, the bad and the ugly (all the stuff I am working every day to improve).

as a traveler for the past couple of years i became very comfortable with being on my own and in fact relished so much in the complete independence of my solitary existence that i was very wary of returning to the states to be in a committed relationship. however, in my return i have discovered that while i believed i was full while i was out galavanting around the globe, i have been pleasantly surprised to find an even fuller feeling in sharing my life with someone with whom complete sharing is so easy.

makin' juice

joe made his first batch of fresh juice with his birthday juicer today and it was DEEEEElicious....he used carrots, pineapple and bananas!!! I can't wait to experiment some more...i'm thinking pomegranates right now...i'd love to be able to make some pomegranate juice! The juicer is pretty cool too, it separates the pulp from the juice in a separate area and you can use the pulp to make things too...I want to try to use zuchini pulp to make some fun bread. I know I am crazy, I'll let you know whether it is a disaster or not after I give it a whirl :). I am open to ideas to if you have any :).

a sweet movie

joe and i went to see the movie juno last night with another couple. i completely fell head over heals with the movie...loved ellen page (who plays the edgy, intelligent, courageous and beautiful juno in the movie), loved the lovable dorkiness of bleeker, loved the alternative, folkie, indie soundtrack, loved the witty and completely non cliche writing, loved the cinematography (is that the right word?) --the combo of cartoon and actual picture, loved the simultaneous simplicity and complexity...bottom line is, you've gotta go see it :).

here are the words to a couple of my favorite songs from the sound track.

All I want is you...
If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, let the cold winds blow

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

Anyone else but you..
Kimya: You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend

Adam: I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Adam: I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Kimya: Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Adam: The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Kimya: I will find my nitch in your car
With my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitar
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Both:
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du

Kimya: Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Adam: You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Kimya: We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Adam: Don Quixote was a steel driving man. My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Kimya: Squinched up your face and did a dance
You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Both:
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
But you

I'm sticking with you...
I'm sticking with you
'Cos I'm made out of glue
Anything that you might do
I'm gonna do too

You held up a stage coach in the rain
And I'm doing the same
Saw you're hanging from a tree
And I made believe it was me

I'm sticking with you
'Cos I'm made out of glue
Anything that you might do
I'm gonna do too

Some people go into the stratosphere
Soldiers fighting with the Cong

But with you by my side I can do anything
When we swing
We hang past right or wrong

I'll do anything for you
Anything you want me too
I'll do anything for you
Oohoh I'm sticking with you
Oohoh I'm sticking with you
Oohoh I'm sticking with you

three cheers for this guy...

getting ready to go substitute teach today and came across an inspiring story on the internet from the NY Times...it's about a man who, as principal, has helped to turn around a tough school in the bronx. good thing to read as I head off to the classroom this morning. here is the link...

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/08/nyregion/08principal.html?em&ex=1202619600&en=7eeb11422452819e&ei=5087%0A

my circle

so recently decided to start "collecting" people and personalities who inspire me or whose ideas align with my developing ones---i guess i am creating a mini community for myself because in my incessant soul searching i feel a bit closer to finding my authentic voice when I find someone who has more concisely and eloquently communicated the thoughts that exist in my head but only manage to come out of my mouth in a bowl full of mush :).

the people that are in my circle so far; khalil gibran, rainer maria rilke, the author of storypeople, amy tan and today's latest addition...a woman named Sarah Susanka. She is an architect who wrote a book called "The Not So Big House." Here is a link to her website...
http://www.notsobighouse.com/index.asp.

My favorite part of her website is a section called "Sacred Places." in college i started putting a lot of thought into the way I decorated my room because I wanted my room to be a sanctuary for me. In general I believe in creating small sanctuaries in our lives as a place to go to to rejuvenate, recharge and be inspired. Call me crazy but my living space is really important to my mental well being and sanity and I am so excited to find someone out there who has put these thoughts and feelings into words.

nows and laters and paisleys

i pulled out an old book of mine today that I never completely finished...Einstein's dreams. It's an imaginary collection of what the author thought Einstein might have been daydreaming about while he was developing his theory of relativity.

i read the chapter 9 june 1905. in this particular dream, einstein is thinking about two types of people that would exist in the world if people lived forever---nows and laters.

The laters believe that since life is infinite there is no need to rush anything, not studying, not working, not getting promoted, not falling in love or getting married or having a family.

The nows think that with infinite life they can do everything they want to do, have as many careers as they like, marry as many times as they like, go back and forth in their personal ideas and philosophies etc etc etc.

The chapter goes on to discuss how in a world where life is infinite, the thing that these two types of people have in common is that they forever live in the shadows of their undying relatives and the implications this causes (you'll have to read this one yourself if you want to know what is said about this situation.

I stopped paying attention after the explanation of the nows and laters. I started comparing myself to the two and trying to decide which one I thought I was and whether or not there can really be a straight line drawn between the two types.

I have tendencies of both the nows and laters---i'm a later because I love nothing more than sitting idly in a coffee shop with a cup of chai tea and my journal and spending hours upon hours contemplating and reflecting about nothing that will ever advance me socially, financially, professionally etc. I'm a now because there are days when I feel like there are a million and one things I want to do with my life and I just can't get started on all of my life to do list soon enough. I wonder what I would be if life was in fact infinite.

Okay enough of my type later rambling....

on to another laters tangent...

I indulged my love for paisley designs today. I can't say I am a fan of paisley prints on clothing, but I have to say on paper I think it is a pretty ingenious design. I am crazy. They really are wonderful though, all swirly and bohemian and dreamy. I google imaged paisley prints today because I wanted to draw some on a label I was making. I found out that the paisley pattern likely originated in India, I knew that there were more reasons than just the amazing chai and history of buddhism in india that attracts me so much to it.

a birthday celebration

joe's birthday was today so we had a weekend full of mini celebrations together. i made joe a sign at school on Friday and hung it up in the entryway of our apartment and we kicked off the weekend on friday night with a surprise, romantic, candle lit dinner and some Asti (damn good sparkling wine!--like sparkling cider with a little kick).

saturday joe had to work, pobresito, so I had a double layer funfetti cake with vanilla frosting (his favorite) waiting for him when he returned.

sunday started out as a bit of a disaster but turned into a wonderful day. A few weeks ago I reserved a harley davidson motorcyle for us to ride around the city, but unfortunately, we no longer live in sunny and warm southern california and the rainy, cold weather put a damper on those plans. I made a last minute change and rented an SUV for us to ride around thinking Joe would like that because he loves cars and especially, much to my chagrin, big cars. When I told him our plan on the way up to San Francisco, he told me that he thought we could have just as much fun touring around the city without spending the money on the car. I was a little hurt because I had put so much time into planning this and had put aside the other gift idea I had (a juicer) and I could tell Joe wanted the juicer more than the car rental. So, long story short, and a few tears on my part later (I know I am a sensitive girl) we cancelled the rental and went to Costco to get a juicer and then spent the day taking a beautiful and very scenic drive up to Point Reyes National Park. It was wonderful. And Joe was right, we didn't need to spend the money on a big, fancy car in order to enjoy it all. Here are some pictures from the day. The ultimate destination on our journey was the Point Reyes Lighthouse. Unfortunately it was so windy that they closed the stairs down to the light house, but the views over the ocean were well worth the drive! The light house happens to be located at one of the windiest points on the Pacific Coast. The trees up there have done a fabulous job of adapting (see picture below).



We ended the day with a pizza dinner from one of Joe's favorite local pizza places. It was delicious---we had a medium half meat, half veggie pizza---very representative of our opposites attract relationship.


This morning I made a birthday breakfast for Joe---oat bran chocolate chip pancakes and apple smoked bacon. It was delicious if I do say so myself!!!