Tuesday, June 17, 2008


I feel like breaking down and crying right now. I told Joe tonight that I have been feeling a bit distant lately. I guess I was disappointed by the way that our talk went. I know it sounds cheezy and a bit damsel in distress of me, but I was really hoping that he would just take me in his arms and tell me how much he loved me and how in love with me he is and how I would be absolutely crazy to even think anything else. I think he is falling out of love with me and I feel our relationship losing the magic and passion and sweetness. I am scared because tonight for one of the first times, I do not feel compelled to go give him a big hug and just make up and tell him how much i love him and can't live without him. Right now all I feel is more distant from him.

Right now I wish I could just know if we are really, truly right for each other. He is an amazing guy, tonight I got home from the gym and the entire apartment had been vacuumed, multiple loads of laundry had been folded, dinner was on the table, but he never called once today just to tell me that he loves me.

Am I hanging on because I am afraid of not being able to find anything better? Do I really love him?

I am afraid of not having him in my life, I love spending time with him and sharing myself with him, but right now something is missing.

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